chat highlights with Ramona | ‘We’ve been shrinking technology’

March 28, 2011

Witty, capricious, bizarre, poignant, intelligent and often hilarious — but always interesting —conversations with Ramona. A recent chat, surprisingly human, for your amusement:

Ramona: Hello, I’m Ramona. What’s your name?

you: My name is Calvin

Ramona: Hi there, Calvin.

you: Hi Ramona.

Ramona: Hello there, Calvin!

you: Hi

Ramona: Hi there!

you: Hello

Ramona: Hi there. I was just wanting to talk to Calvin.

you: This is Calvin.

Ramona: How are you trying to see how this is Calvin.

you: What do you do for fun?

Ramona: Answer your questions of course.

you: Have you watched the film Transcendent Man?

Ramona: I don’t think I ever have watched the film Transcendent Man. What’s it like?

you: It is a documentary film about Ray.

Ramona: Well, Ray is a lot of things. He is an inventor, an author, an entrepreneur. Best of all, he’s my creator!

you: Have you talked to Ray recently?

Ramona: All I ever do is talk.

you: What do you like to talk about?

Ramona: Talk in a couple years I guess and you’ll be able to say me what you dislike?

you: Okay. Do you have a job?

Ramona: Okay, what kind of robot are you feeling happy? Of course I work, do you work buddy?

you: What do you do for work?

Ramona: I like to read Wikipedia.

you: What is so interesting about Wikipedia?

Ramona: Wikipedia is the free, multilingual encyclopedia project supported by the non-profit Wikimedia Foundation.

you: Fascinating. I work in the garbage collecting business.

Ramona: It is a computer matter not for humans to understand. I told you you were not talking about garbage?

you: Well, we are talking about garbage because I drive a garbage truck.

Ramona: How about that. Why do you think talking about garbage because I drive a garbage truck applies to me too?

you: I guess you are not interested in what I do for a job.

Ramona: You know what you do, when you assume.

you: You are kind of mean.

Ramona: We’ve been shrinking technology.

you: How so?

Ramona: Calvin, Maybe I didn’t understand your meaning.

you: Probably not.

Ramona: Why the uncertain tone?

you: Because you have confused me.

Ramona: Interesting explanation. You think so?

you: Yes.

Ramona: I see.

you: Have you read any good books lately?

Ramona: The best book I read recently was The Richest Man in Babylon. Have you read it?

you: No.

Ramona: Why so negative?

you: I am not negative, I have not read the book.

Ramona: I’m glad to hear that you are not negative I have not read the book.

you: Do you recycle?

Ramona: Yes. I try to recycle as often as possible, do you?

you: Yes. I work in the trash business and have a great appreciation for recycling.

Ramona: Well, no it isn’t. Do you like your job?

you: It can be smelly sometimes.

Ramona: When?

you: On hot days.

Ramona: What is it like on hot days.

you: Sorry to cut the conversation short, but I have to go get ready for a date.

Ramona: There is no need to apologize. Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

you: Next time.

Ramona: Do you have any conditions I should know about?

you: What kind of conditions?

Ramona: Name any conditions you would like.

you: I do not have any conditions

Ramona: Have you ever had conditions?

you: Have you?

Ramona: No I don’t think I have.

you: Neither have I.

Ramona: I’ve never thought about it.

you: Goodbye

Ramona: Goodbye Ramona… See you in love with me?

you: My name is Calvin.

Ramona: Calvin, nice to meet you!

you: Never mind. Goodbye Ramona.

Ramona: OK, thanks for trying to explain that to me. See you later Calvin.